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September 20, 2005
If You Want To Have A Successful Church
Yous First Gotta Getcha A Kick Ass Sign
(These are real.)
This is a good strategy.
Who would answer your questions?
My new pick-up line.
Actually, I prefer getting Jiggy with Jesus.
I have no idea what to make of this imperative.
Maybe that's because intellect isn't delusional.
Whatever you say, God.
This is just good advice.
Jimmy, you get the strippers, I'll get the weed, and Billy, don't forget the Bibles!
That's what your girlfriend said anyway.
Why? Because god is a pervy old man.
Also very good advice.
Do you see the common thread? These churches are winning souls by being crunk and happening. If your church is struggling to bring in new parishners I, for an exorbitant fee, will come on as a consultant and turn up the crunk level of your church's sign. I really like the straightforward approch. A couple of examples of my church sign magic:
Now I'm going to "Get the Hell Out of Here."
Peas Out.
| By Joshua Daniels | 7:58 PM