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October 24, 2005
The Worst Halloween Song Ever
If you've never heard of The Shaggs consider yourself lucky -- they are perhaps the worst band that has ever existed in the history of the world (and no that's not hyperbole). Here is a snippet from The Shaggs' official website:
DEPENDING on whom you ask, the Shaggs were either the best band of all time or the worst. Frank Zappa is said to have proclaimed that the Shaggs were "better than the Beatles." More recently, though, a music fan who claimed to be in "the fetal position, writhing in pain," declared on the Internet that the Shaggs were "hauntingly bad," and added, "I would walk across the desert while eating charcoal briquettes soaked in Tobasco for forty days and forty nights not to ever have to listen to anything Shagg-related ever again." Such a divergence of opinion confuses the mind. Listening to the Shaggs' album "Philosophy of the World" will further confound. The music is winsome but raggedly discordant pop. Something is sort of wrong with the tempo, and the melodies are squashed and bent, nasal, deadpan. Are the Shaggs referencing the heptatonic, angular microtones of Chinese ya-yueh court music and the atonal note clusters of Ornette Coleman, or are they just a bunch of kids playing badly on cheap, out-of-tune guitars?
The latter to be sure. These kids sucked! Bad!
Stream or download the song "It's Halloween" off the album The Philosophy Of The World; I promise it will be the scariest thing you experience this halloween season. MUUUUAAAHHHAAAAHHHHHAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!
Here are the lyrics as well:
IT'S HALLOWEEN
It's Halloween
It's Halloween
It's time for scares
It's time for screams
It's Halloween
It's Halloween
The ghosts will spook
The spooks will scare
Why, even Dracula will be there
It's time for games
It's time for fun
Not for just one
But for everyone
The jack-o-lanterns are all lit up
All the dummies are made and stuffed
By just looking you will see
It's this time of year again
It's Halloween
It's Halloween
All the kids are happy and gay
There doesn't seem to be a cloud in their way
But when it's over and they've had all their fun
They'll wish that Halloween had just begun
Oh, there are witches, goblins, ***, ***, Frankensteins and zombies
(?) And there are tramps, Cinderallas, pirates, angels and gypsies
So let's have lots of fun and give many cheers
For Halloween comes but once a year
It's time for games
It's time for fun
Not for just one
But for everyone
It's Halloween
It's Halloween
It's Halloween
It's Halloween
It's Halloween!
Disclaimer:
If you listen to this song more than three times in a given day you will, in a metaphysical way, become a Shagg -- never to return. Don't say that you weren't warned!
| By Joshua Daniels | 9:42 PM